-Plastics CC (134, 20 overs) beat Cumnor Challengers by 24? runs Location: Croydon Weather: Rain forecast for the entire day, temperature min 14 max 16 degrees Toss: Won by the Plastics, who promptly took shelter under the somewhat ramshackle lean to Music: Enjoyment of this report may be increased by playing Rihanna – Umbrella in the background…Up to you if you do or you don’t, I’m not your father. Batting Summary: Mr Robert and Jerry, Son of Jamie, were selected to open the batting after a costume change, a photoshoot and some indecent exposure. Mr Robert started with trademark caution and responsibility, but soon cut loose with a selection of well-timed fours and slightly less timed hoiks to the boundary. A fantastic innings near chanceless and under challenging conditions duly supporting the other batsmen with his gangly yet efficient running. An absolute travesty that he did not get the 50 that he so rightly deserves. It’ll come one day, maybe (probably not). Jerry, Son of Jamie, promoted to opener having ousted the Eviler Bishop. Clearly with something to prove, he immediately set about displaying his array of shots that include the Doyscoop and the reverse Doyscoop. The 4th consecutive scoop resulted in the opposition clocking on to his tactics and bowled him out for a thoroughly entertaining 11 runs. I am reliably informed that he will be foregoing a bat for a giant pink ladle in future matches. Bradbury arrived at 3 to stabilise the innings playing a measure innings and duly supporting the in-form Mr Robert, yet still finding time to plunder a few boundaries on his way to 13 before being bowled by Dharsh Vader of Cumnor. Bradbury states for the record that he struck a beautiful cover drive, however the scorer/correspondent was drawing a tree at the time this happened, so is unable to confirm nor deny that this actually occurred. Webster arrived next and with a pitch the approximate size of a postage stamp the weather forecast was upgraded to drizzly with a chance of sixes. Alas it was not to be… out for a duck, probably due to removing the spare change that was in his shoe. Resident giant Mr Winter, ensconced in his rather fetching North Face batting jacket, arrived next to steady the ship and promptly began swinging at everything. Stealing several quick runs and rotating the strike reliably. Cumnor threw down a couple Yorkers but the big man got down to dug ‘em all out until one snuck through to his pads. LBW for 8. Promising sixes and fours galore, the Plastics' swashbuckling Aussie set about the Challengers bowling for a quick fire 20 runs - featuring the Plastics' only 6 this game. Cumnor having to resort to the bowling of a 12-year-old to force Joey out. Caught for 20. With both Peters (Eviler and Oliver) in to see out the remaining overs, some nicely struck 4s from the Evil one and some brilliantly devious running from Oliver saw the Plastics post a none too shabby 134 from 20 overs. It was agreed that in view of the weather that lunch would be postponed until the end of the match. Having seen the state of the Cumnor fielders, the vast majority of the Plastics elected to wear fielding coats and jackets. Bowling Summary: Bowling was opened by Saril of no fixed address or surname, who bowled around the wicket to avoid getting his clothes dirty and bowled a tidy spell - managing to swing one through bat and pad for a wicket. Special thanks to Joey for his excellent ball maintenance. “Matty” bowling from the bouncy castle end with a slightly reduced run up in view of the conditions and his lack of spikes. Though this shortcoming did not prevent him from still extracting some genuine pace and taking a very tidy two wickets for his troubles. “Matty” would probably like me to mention that he took some superb catches three or four games ago, just in case you weren’t already aware. Joey joined in the action with some of his enchanting legspin, somehow managing to turn the ball out of puddles. Unlucky to not have got more wickets with the wet ball slipping between hands and fielders, but still good enough to take the scalp of one of the Challengers. The ever-reliable Doy sent down some beautiful skiddy deliveries with that trademark twist of the hip of his containing the batsmen over his four overs. Featuring a moment of absolute brilliance to remove the Challengers star batsmen Lux with an effortlessly casual caught and bowled. Evil Bishop, tidy as always, kept the opposition quiet during his spell and also bagged a wicket for his efforts - which should have been a couple more were it not for some very unfortunate drops. He will surely return to his Evil and economical best in the next outing.
Some markedly excellent pieces of fielding were observed, special mention to Alex and Charlie each for their respective run outs and to Peter for his dogged determination behind the stumps in less than favourable keeping conditions. Which all helped lead the Plastics to a soggy yet very victorious conclusion to the game. Challengers falling short of their target by what I assume to be an embarrassingly large number. Food and Drinks Summary: Lunch included chips and the bar had a speciality gin menu. Jerry, Son of Jamie, was fondled by one of the proprietors to “check how moist he was” but he seemed ok with it so no further action was taken. Thus ends Match report.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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