The season is finally upon us after months of anticipation, discussions about shirt designs, intense meetings and ill-advised winter net sessions. All of those efforts were leading towards this day - the game to end all games. The game that could bring the sport of cricket into disrepute. The Intra-Plastics showdown.
With 100% of the squad in attendance and some willing ringers along for the journey, we miraculously had a full complement of 22 players available for our warm-up. Warm-up is a grossly misleading term because it was so cold that many of us will never be warm again. Arriving to discover that our newly printed team shirts are definitely a real thing and not a scheme orchestrated by the treasurer to scam us out of hundreds of pounds, we each took in the sights around us at the picturesque Wandsworth Common. While a nearby café was filled by parents who had deemed it too cold to watch their children play in the ongoing Colts games, Wandsworth Prison also sat ominously in the distance and reminded us of where we'd all end up if the ECB catches us trying to claim that we play "cricket". Amid fears that both sides could lose the toss - and perhaps even the game - captains Mark and Simon prepared to stride out to the middle for a hotly contested coin battle. Unfortunately though, the kids' match before us was overrunning, so they sensibly chose to make do with staying on the side of the pitch instead. After eschewing the usual Plastics 11-man coin toss in favour of the more traditional 1v1 method, Simon came out on top and put team Lynx Africa in to bat first. While assured openers Leo and Jerry made their way out with the aim of seeing off the new ball, it soon became apparent that the wicket was not exactly batsman-friendly. Early dismissals were the order of the day as the ball came up off the surface at right angles. As Jerry attempted to get his eye in, partners at the other end came and went - with Jerry eventually succumbing too thanks to the one catch of the day taken by Joey. Hampered by a difficult start, Lynx Africa never really recovered as the side lost wickets at regular intervals. Some green shoots of recovery appeared as Lizut brought up the day's first six with a huge shot and Saril showed some spirited hitting down the order, but it was to be team Instinct's day as Simon, Jamie and Jevs took three wickets apiece and bowled out LA for 57. After working our way through the mountain of sausage rolls, crisps and cake brought along for tea, Lynx Africa set out to make life as difficult as possible for the Instinct openers. It was a promising start too, as Jon nearly dinked the ball straight back to bowler Matt - who was unlucky to put down a difficult caught-and-bowled chance. With Jon departing soon after that, the early wicket buoyed the fielding team as Alex joined remaining opener Dom out in the middle. The duo's confident partnership soon saw off any hope of a victory for Africa though, with some powerful hitting to all parts of the pitch. While Dom was unlucky not to see the game to completion, falling just before the target was reached, a cameo from Peter and a massive six from Alex meant that Instinct triumphed by eight wickets. With the 22 only slightly discouraged by the biting wind and occasional drizzle, the occasion turned out to be a roaring success - a celebration of the fact that the Plastics XI is still standing after a winter of in-depth discussions about issues normal cricket clubs probably don't have. And, perhaps most reassuringly of all, through the team growth, establishing of a club bank account, sponsorship deal and so on, the standard of cricket is still appropriately weak-weak. Pepsi Xtreme Man of the Match Award: Alex for having the foresight to provide sandwiches for tea.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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