After a long winter, The Plastics now traditional curtain raiser, promised many things; the start of summer after netting in the freezing cold all winter; a battle to determine whether Jam or Custard donuts are superior once and for all; a first peek at our spiffy new kits and baggy fandangos; a chance for some old hands, familiar faces of yesterseason and some new friends making their first Intra-Plastics appearance.
Alas, before the game even started there was high drama, with a debutant dropping out at the last minute due to what we must assume was a fatal case of tonsillitis. Luckily he was swiftly replaced by a tangential connection that your author can't recall, the matter having being settled within 15 minutes. On then, to Battersea Park, or Battersea Dome, as it now must be named, for the 2nd Annual Intra-plastics. It was billed as a warm up match that didn't really matter, but it was so much more than that. It was a chance to argue about the weather, about the names of the teams, about how early is too early for cricket gins and about the correct spelling of esky. It was a chance for young tyro, Jerry of Team Custard, to face grizzled veteran of captaining five matches Matt, in an ultimate contest to show whether our young gun should really have allowed him to run unopposed for the position of club captain this season. Right from the toss, Jerry demonstrated sterling leadership qualities, taking his time to decide whether to bat first, and even canvassing multiple opinions to ensure the right decision was made. It was eventually fairly well established that the right thing to do was have a bat despite the high winds at the time of the toss and the forecast of (some) sunshine later in the day. With that settled, it was time for the openers, Anthony and Robert, to start their job of blunting Jam's attack and taking the shine of the ball, which they did with serious aplomb, scoring only six runs from the opening 6 overs from Saril and Jamie. In the next 7 they upped the rate somewhat, before Robert (at a Jennings-esque strike rate of 20) was pinned in front for four by an inswinger from his evil twin brother and Anthony decided to start hitting out, offering a couple of half chances in the process. He was eventually dismissed edging one from Webb straight up to James at point. In the meantime Thornhill had come in and taken a few quick singles before slashing one straight to the same fielder for 22 to take a two handed catch, and Alex had played a skittish innings before dancing down the track to Doy to be stumped by Dom. Custard looked next to Mark to steady the reeling ship, and he started with a very solid leave, withdrawing the bat and looking confident as the ball swished past him. What a shame, then, that the ball swished passed him and directly into the top of off stump, a golden duck and a vow to return to uncontrolled slogging his gains for the day, and adding another wicket to Jamie's tally. Next in was Maithri, who wasted only two balls in getting off the mark, before putting Jam's attack to the sword, in partnership with Charlie (the last minute replacement for our struck down friend), scoring a scintillating 48 off only 39 balls, with plenty of drives beating the infield, the rock back and controlled forward movement adding too much pace for cover. There were also three consecutive fours at one point before he was dismissed by one offering just a bit more bounce on the true pitch from Webb. Charlie had been dismissed pulling directly to Leo in an otherwise rapid innings of 16, and Tom Morgan Grenville had technically been put down at deep midwicket before being beguiled by Joey's legspin. Into the tail now, captain JJJ#3 railed against the dying of the light with a mature innings of 22, even going so far as to put away his favourite shot (the ramp) before getting caught off Simon, leaving Jamie to clean up the innings by bowling Peter for a duck and to end a superb performance from the twinkle toed left-armer with figures of 3-9. John Papa, you sensed, was disappointed to be stranded on 2. So, helped by 21 wides (8 from Webb, including one that bounced over the batsman's head) and some determined, late innings digging in, Custard had recovered quite nicely from 51-5 to 172 all out. After a tea of a random assortment of what mostly appeared to be variants of sausage rolls and lots of giant doughnuts supplied by Joey, the two photos above were taken for posterity. Your author imagines that when we look upon this in the future, we will wonder exactly how Custard quite spectacularly failed to give any semblance of symmetry in their pose. A target of 173, then, for Team Jam, Leo and Charlie opening, and John Papa and Jerry steaming in. The combination of fast and erratic and gentler but on target not threatening Jam's opening pair but keeping them honest. Over the next 16 overs, against some tight bowling from all the Custard bowlers, who bowled with pace and guile, only 36 runs were added, and it looked like the game had slipped away. After drinks were taken, however, with the captain's "hit out or get out" speech ringing in their ears, Charlie and Leo did exactly that, despite the excellence of the attack, getting 31 and 32 respectively before being dismissed to the cheers of the other 20 players (9 of whom still quite fancied a bat), as they had done their job a little too well and faced 130 balls of the 35 over match. Pete Bishop, promoted up the order due to looking pretty tidy in the nets, attempted to up the run rate with a relatively rapid 6 off ten balls while Mike found Jerry's pace a bit too much to handle when his first ball hit the stumps, With only 10 overs remaining, and the bulk of the target needing to be chased against a tiring but willing attack, James Heis was up for the challenge. It's not often someone has a strike rate of a thousand after one legal ball faced, but he managed that. Ably supported by Dom, it was shame he couldn't quite take Jam over the line, but the 32 from him, and the unbeaten 42 from Dom (almost all in twos to a spread field) that happened almost so quickly you were unaware it of it, set up Joey to come out and clip the winnings runs through midwicket (where else?) Unfortunately during the final overs there was a dark stain on the match. Maithri sustained an injury in his bowling run up, and your author is sure he is not alone in wishing him a speedy recovery so he can return to bat like a dream as he did in this match, and bowl with his usual nagging accuracy and good humour. After the match, the team retired to the Railway in Clapham, where, despite the staff not knowing the difference between a room and "some tables over in a corner", a good time was had by all, especially Matt, knowing as he now did that the losing captain's forfeit was to dress up in the "outfit" below.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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