Ten months after the Plastics 4th XI’s 47-run defeat to Hendricks XI at the end of the 2016 season, the two sides were to meet again. For this match, the squads and venue were different, but both teams were aware of the importance of the repeat fixture. The Plastics were seeking to overturn the memory of a heavy loss in their first ever match, while Hendricks were keen to limit the partially-irresistible rise of London’s newest alternative underground nomadic cricket collective (presumably).
Scheduled for a midday start at Avery Hill Park, the match was delayed by the pitch – the fact that, for a short time, it appeared that there wasn’t one. In time, it was discovered that there indeed was a ‘pitch’, though the lack of maintenance meant it was nearly as grassy as the outfield and could only be identified by the stump holes at either end. There was also no indication of where the outfield ended, which necessitated the use of alternatively-sourced non-permanent boundary markers (traffic cones). Despite these difficulties, the relentless desire for cricket prevailed, and the captains agreed to play. This delay angered the crowd, and some youths decided to meddle with the new boundary technology. Whilst not going as far as full-scale traffic cone theft (as it could look to an innocent bystander), they simply appeared to be intent on stealing a cone and waving it around a bit. The activities of younger fans had disrupted the 2016 fixture, with a relatively unprofessional security response damaging community relations. Lessons had been learnt, and several players were deployed to negotiate a settlement amiable to both parties. This survived for very large parts of the match, thanks to positive conditioning and the creation of a friendly rapport by the Plastics’ all-rounder Jevs. Plastics captain Charlie lost the toss, despite a regular regime of tossing practice. As in the previous match, his team’s ability to chase down a target would be tested. The Plastics were determined that history would not repeat itself. Hendricks started their innings steadily, scoring at less than five an over. The regularity of wides bowled by the Plastics provided another stream of runs, adding at least one every over. To their credit, a regular stream of wickets also came, assisted by the unpredictable ‘pitch’. After finding themselves struggling with five down for not-very-many, the lower order struck back impressively, with Saunders and Khattak making contributions of 30 (5 fours) and 32 (3 fours and 2 sixes) respectively. This accelerated the run rate, and took Hendricks to a highly respectable total of 150-6 off their 20 overs. Rain had also started to fall, making fielding a difficult business. Stand-out bowling performances were produced by Jamie, who took 2 wickets for 42 runs, and Maithri, whose spin achieved an economy of 2.67 and a wicket, despite a knee injury. Matt, Saril and Charlie picked up one apiece. 35 extras and four dropped catches also meant that the learning and development aspect of training could be well-targeted. Several interesting events had also taken place off the field during this time. First, a gang of slightly older youths than the last (or the same group, but having rapidly aged) made two ‘fly pasts’ on a pair of scrambler motorcycles. It can only be assumed that they were a substitute for a Red Arrows appearance scheduled for the innings break, but we’ll never know. Second, a passer-by, apparently be accident, deposited one of their dogs with the Hendricks team at the boundary during their innings. The dog, having made an attempt to assist with scoring and team tactics during this time, was collected some time later. This was a relief, as there were no kennel facilities at the ground. Tea was taken in the innings break, including an excellent sponge cake supplied by the Hendricks team, while the weather cleared up and the pitch dried. 151 was needed off 20 overs, amounting to a required run rate of 7.55 per over. Having only managed 5.63 an over at the 2016 fixture, hopes were pinned on an improved batting line-up. Following the loss of Robert early on (bowled), Jon and Alex set about the task of meeting the required rate, making 49 (off 50 balls, with 3 fours and 2 sixes) and 46 (off 34 balls, with 4 fours and 4 sixes). This batting performance meant that, at the half way stage, victory was a very real prospect. The required rate continued to fall, while the Hendricks bowlers appeared to go for an almost Plastics-level of extras. However, from the 15th over, the Hendricks bowlers threatened to precipitate a batting collapse. Patel removed Jon, bowled, while Rollett caught Alex on the boundary off Pitt’s bowling. Stability was brought to the middle by captain Charlie and vice-vice-captain Mark, who both made 8, such that the Plastics marched steadily to 151. By the time Mark was run out, the result was all but certain, with only two runs needed off the 20th and final over. Keeper-batsman Peter chipped one to a vacant long off, and the final run was scored. Plastics XI had won by 6 wickets, with four balls remaining. Man of the match was awarded to Hendricks’ Khattak, for his blistering middle-order boundary-hitting. Honourable mentions were also in order for the Plastics’ Jon and Alex, for much the same reason. A ten-over game was also played, which produced the opposite result, but there’s no need to dwell on that (there was also a second incident of near-traffic cone theft). The next Plastics fixture is the 20th August against North Enfield CC. In the meantime, the team will continue in time-honoured tradition to neglect fielding practice in favour for more exciting aspects of the game (the toss, appealing and glove punches).
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Another Sunday rolls around, another trip out to the middle of nowhere (in this case, the Borough of Croydon) to pursue our dreams of cricketing glory.
Our opponents this time: Cumnor Challengers, a team we had only encountered on the opposite side of the draw in Roehampton Bats' inaugural T20 competition. After an initial bit of panic, this time before the match (rather than while batting) in making sure that everyone was going to arrive, the Plastics had all turned up looking resplendent in their shocking pink hats. Skipper Charlie reverted to form after the aberration against Stanmore and lost the toss. Inserted in to field, The Plastics optimism at learning CCCC had not won match yet this season tempered only slightly by the knowledge that they had only won one themselves, opened with Jackson. An over in which he displayed his wily variations followed, with a couple of double bouncers, a yorker, then a cutter that I'm almost certain was deliberate and only four runs conceded. Matt in, opening the bowling as he had always been too modest to ask for but always secretly wanted to do, the only runs off his over coming off a massive top edge over the slips and down to boundary at the vacant third man region. Second over for Jackson, and he's gottim! Another double bouncer that stays even lower and he pins the batsman in front for 2. Niall's pink-sweatband-clad arms go up in celebration and Cumnor are 10-1. Next over for Matt, and he's in off a long run up, feeling that the batsmen can be intimidated. A leg side wide first up, followed by a peach of a delivery that hits the middle of middle and it's two down for not very many. The new batsman swung and missed at a couple before Matt bowled a full toss that sent the off stump cartwheeling to his own disgust, filth like that doesn't deserve a wicket. Fortunately the square leg umpire called it a no ball on height, the batsman was reprieved and Matt would be able to look at himself in the mirror that night. A couple more uneventful overs followed with Cumnor's number three, Lux, taking the fight back to the opening bowlers with a couple of quick boundaries, and an edge down to third man that Mike and Matt hared after before Mike scooped it backhanded to Matt from the boundary and Matt nailed it into the keeper, both walking back to their positions striving and failing to maintain an air of nonchalance about the whole thing. Next The Plastics tearaway Aussie quick, Joey, came on to strike fear into the batsman's hearts. Alas, if there was any justice in the world he would have finished with a Michelle rather than the one wicket he got. A couple of edges, a couple of tight LBW calls, and couple of misfields could all have gone his way and we'd be comparing his performance to Ryan Harris in his creaky prime. The overs tick away, Saril bowling a nice line and length except one wide outside off and one down leg; not to worry, on average he's bowled him there. Joey still failing to reap the rewards his bowling deserved, with Cumnor's number three still cutting and chopping powerfully between forward point and third man. New bowler, Maithri coming in after a long absence with a knee injury and first ball is perfect: full and on off, but he's holding his knee and looking concerned. After a pause, he decides to heroically continue with his over, but reverting to offspin. Two fantastic balls later, both gripping and spitting and he's on a hat trick, men crowded around the bat as the number 6 wipes the sweat from his brow, knowing that if he can't keep this one out that he'll go down in the annals of Plastics history. Defended, and the relief is palpable. One more over and Maithri's got the Plastics into the lower order, and left them with a chance of bowling them all out, all on one leg. Wickets tumble at the other end, including four very solid overs from JEVS on debut, a wicket for him and another gone begging as Niall folds himself all the way around a catch, managing to touch it with every part of his body before it goes to ground and still Lux bats on, watching the carnage bemusedly and offering tips to his partners in between overs. Niall begins his second spell; a blur of pink, whirling arms and corkscrew hair as two balls fly over the batsman's head- beamer, beamer, double bouncer, yorker, good length and his variations have the lower order in all sorts of trouble again. Charlie brings himself on to try and get the set batsman out, scenting victory if he can, but his usual vicious outswing eludes him and Lux and Minesh face out the last few overs; the former clobbering a couple of decent balls for consecutive fours and the latter solidly defending. At tea, Lux is on a superb undefeated 80 and the Plastics are chasing a run a ball over the next 30 overs. Out stroll Peter and Mark, the latter put in to get quick runs at the top of the order while Peter does his customary taking the shine off the ball. Maiden over to Peter, plenty of time to get the runs, no need to hurry himself just yet. Mark takes a couple of balls to get in before taking a single to keep the strike and lofting a straight drive down the ground for four. He races to 13 off 13 before getting a somewhat dubious LBW shout off an inswinging delivery while standing a yard outside his crease. Peter sticks around some more, upping the rate as Ed plays himself in, wristily turning a four down to fine leg and taking a few twos in the meantime. Ed defends solidly before taking a couple of swings, with the ball flying through to the keeper. Undeterred, Ed strides out of his crease next ball and absolutely leathers it over the boundary, over the fence, to be lost forever. With Peter out LBW, Charlie comes to the crease and has a good look at the bowlers, happy to let Ed set the tone for a while., remaining scoreless in a partnership of 16. Once Ed went, to a good catch at long on, and Maithri was out just as he was getting his touch, Charlie started asserting himself with boundary after boundary while Mike and JEVS, slightly nervous in his first innings for this fine club, defended at the other end. Unfortunately they weren't able to add much to the score between them, but that was fine as Charlie was still gunning for the target, losing another ball over the fence over long on, before getting out chopping on. With Joey and Matt at the crease, the approach to quick singles became what could be called "risky" at best and "suicidally insane" at worst, with the ball pinging to all parts of the pitch, including a couple of steeplers that the fielders were unlucky not to take. Another big six off Joey over midwicket, and a couple of powerful pulls over the square leg boundary from Matt, the pair made the fielders earn their crust before Joey rode his luck one time too many and was caught at mid off. With only Niall left to come, Saril knew that the run-rate was creeping up and took decisive action. Six first ball, pulled beautifully over square leg into the car park! Next ball he was bowled, for a strike rate of 300. Niall, the Wimbledon Wall, gets a golden and Matt is left stranded on 14 off 13 and the Plastics go down by 36 runs. Stanmore Warriors 11/06/17Arriving at probably the best cricket ground that mere mortals like us could possibly hope to play at, The Plastics were in high spirits, fresh from their promising T20 competition. Still riding the wave of the glorious feeling of that first win and looking forward to the prospect of basking in the sunshine. We were drunk on it, and we wanted more.
We therefore tried to have the following match stricken from the records, but it turns out we must count an inglorious defeat too. Due to an administrative error, it soon became apparent that we were by no means the equals of the team opposing us. The rumours soon circulated; 80mph bowling, former Ranji trophy player and trying to get an County contract. It was men vs boys. Charlie FWAT (finally won a toss), and rashly chose to bat first. We can only assume the surprise of FWATting made him giddy. Peter and Waqas opened the batting, Winter having requested a move down the order due to some disappointing batting in his last run out. They started slow and steady, 6 dot balls, the Warriors in control. The second over started the same way, Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot. Oh god this is going to be a long day. WAIT! Runs! And not only runs, but a boundary. Waqas sends the balling flying to the boundary. Hope? Maybe. Next ball was, obviously, another dot. That first 4 was the fire they needed, 11 off the next over with 2 more boundaries. Perhaps they aren’t that much better than us? Peter chasing the odd single and going after the wider balls. Waqas only interested in the boundary. One more from the next over, then 4 then 0. 20 without loss after the 6th over; not blistering but a steady, calm start. Disaster strikes after 2 no balls. Peter was gone, clean bowled. Never easy to open, especially against pace. Waqas with another glided boundary, still looking dangerous. A quick single leaves Waqas on strike for the next over. 4 from the first ball of the over, could he steady the ship and build a high score? No, we spoke too soon, caught from the next ball up high towards the third man. 21 from 26 balls. For a Plastic they would be good figures, but he left the crease disappointed. The fall. The man of rumour, a fast bowler who was clearly too good for us, restricted the runs further, the odd wide here and there but Gav and Mr Robert both fell for a single run each, clean bowled. Alex and Winter were soon partnering again. Winter facing the fast bowler, didn’t even see the first ball, everyone thought he would be back to the pavilion soon, including him. 4 byes and a dot. Winter survived. Alex now facing a slow spinner, was gone for 0; a slow straight ball, through it too early. He was gone, visibly angry. Bradbury joined Winter at the crease. Out of nowhere Winter gets a boundary, a nervous edge past the 4 slips, more dot balls followed for both Bradbury and Winter. Then, runs. Should have been four but the fielder didn’t signal for it and the umpire missed it; a bit unsporting, perhaps, given the perilous condition in which our erstwhile batsmen found themselves. Was this a turning point? No. Seriously we suffer from the worst commentators curse imaginable. Facing a very slow spinner Bradbury starts with a couple of Dots, then a single. Bowling was slow but accurate. Winter now facing, Dot, nice defensive shot. Final ball of the over, Winter swings and he top edged it high for the simplest catch. Gone for 6 but furious with himself for such a rash shot. Webb was next up,facing another pacer. First ball pitched up outside off, left. Second ball pitched up a bit straighter and it’s nicked to first slip. Webb curiously pleased with what he called a proper dismissal, despite his abject failure. Enter Joey. 2 from the over and back to the slow spinner. Charlie was soon gone; another easy catch, patted a harmless ball straight back to the bowler. 45-8 Ed came in, probably a couple of places lower down than he should have been, hit from 9 before being bowled. Joey got another single to creep the score up. Enter Jackson. In the first game he was difficult to remove. Defensive shots everywhere, can he stay in long enough for Joey to build a late score? No. Duck. 50 all out. Tea was still at least an hour from being ready, so it was decided that we’d have drinks and then the Warriors would begin their chase. There’s not too much to write about Stanmore Warriors innings; they cruised to the target with 28 overs to spare without loss, assisted by some generous fielding off Webb’s bowling. After the inevitable, crushing, brutal defeat, there was a beautiful spread of hot Indian food and apologies all round for Stanmore’s captain not realising we were a “weak-weak” team. |
THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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