-Plastics CC (134, 20 overs) beat Cumnor Challengers by 24? runs Location: Croydon Weather: Rain forecast for the entire day, temperature min 14 max 16 degrees Toss: Won by the Plastics, who promptly took shelter under the somewhat ramshackle lean to Music: Enjoyment of this report may be increased by playing Rihanna – Umbrella in the background…Up to you if you do or you don’t, I’m not your father. Batting Summary: Mr Robert and Jerry, Son of Jamie, were selected to open the batting after a costume change, a photoshoot and some indecent exposure. Mr Robert started with trademark caution and responsibility, but soon cut loose with a selection of well-timed fours and slightly less timed hoiks to the boundary. A fantastic innings near chanceless and under challenging conditions duly supporting the other batsmen with his gangly yet efficient running. An absolute travesty that he did not get the 50 that he so rightly deserves. It’ll come one day, maybe (probably not). Jerry, Son of Jamie, promoted to opener having ousted the Eviler Bishop. Clearly with something to prove, he immediately set about displaying his array of shots that include the Doyscoop and the reverse Doyscoop. The 4th consecutive scoop resulted in the opposition clocking on to his tactics and bowled him out for a thoroughly entertaining 11 runs. I am reliably informed that he will be foregoing a bat for a giant pink ladle in future matches. Bradbury arrived at 3 to stabilise the innings playing a measure innings and duly supporting the in-form Mr Robert, yet still finding time to plunder a few boundaries on his way to 13 before being bowled by Dharsh Vader of Cumnor. Bradbury states for the record that he struck a beautiful cover drive, however the scorer/correspondent was drawing a tree at the time this happened, so is unable to confirm nor deny that this actually occurred. Webster arrived next and with a pitch the approximate size of a postage stamp the weather forecast was upgraded to drizzly with a chance of sixes. Alas it was not to be… out for a duck, probably due to removing the spare change that was in his shoe. Resident giant Mr Winter, ensconced in his rather fetching North Face batting jacket, arrived next to steady the ship and promptly began swinging at everything. Stealing several quick runs and rotating the strike reliably. Cumnor threw down a couple Yorkers but the big man got down to dug ‘em all out until one snuck through to his pads. LBW for 8. Promising sixes and fours galore, the Plastics' swashbuckling Aussie set about the Challengers bowling for a quick fire 20 runs - featuring the Plastics' only 6 this game. Cumnor having to resort to the bowling of a 12-year-old to force Joey out. Caught for 20. With both Peters (Eviler and Oliver) in to see out the remaining overs, some nicely struck 4s from the Evil one and some brilliantly devious running from Oliver saw the Plastics post a none too shabby 134 from 20 overs. It was agreed that in view of the weather that lunch would be postponed until the end of the match. Having seen the state of the Cumnor fielders, the vast majority of the Plastics elected to wear fielding coats and jackets. Bowling Summary: Bowling was opened by Saril of no fixed address or surname, who bowled around the wicket to avoid getting his clothes dirty and bowled a tidy spell - managing to swing one through bat and pad for a wicket. Special thanks to Joey for his excellent ball maintenance. “Matty” bowling from the bouncy castle end with a slightly reduced run up in view of the conditions and his lack of spikes. Though this shortcoming did not prevent him from still extracting some genuine pace and taking a very tidy two wickets for his troubles. “Matty” would probably like me to mention that he took some superb catches three or four games ago, just in case you weren’t already aware. Joey joined in the action with some of his enchanting legspin, somehow managing to turn the ball out of puddles. Unlucky to not have got more wickets with the wet ball slipping between hands and fielders, but still good enough to take the scalp of one of the Challengers. The ever-reliable Doy sent down some beautiful skiddy deliveries with that trademark twist of the hip of his containing the batsmen over his four overs. Featuring a moment of absolute brilliance to remove the Challengers star batsmen Lux with an effortlessly casual caught and bowled. Evil Bishop, tidy as always, kept the opposition quiet during his spell and also bagged a wicket for his efforts - which should have been a couple more were it not for some very unfortunate drops. He will surely return to his Evil and economical best in the next outing.
Some markedly excellent pieces of fielding were observed, special mention to Alex and Charlie each for their respective run outs and to Peter for his dogged determination behind the stumps in less than favourable keeping conditions. Which all helped lead the Plastics to a soggy yet very victorious conclusion to the game. Challengers falling short of their target by what I assume to be an embarrassingly large number. Food and Drinks Summary: Lunch included chips and the bar had a speciality gin menu. Jerry, Son of Jamie, was fondled by one of the proprietors to “check how moist he was” but he seemed ok with it so no further action was taken. Thus ends Match report.
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Plastics CC (231/6, 39.1 overs) beat South Bank CC (228-8, 40 overs) by 4 wickets.
With the skipper and another 8 members unavailable, it was a somewhat motley crew that arrived at the lovely Dulwich Sports Ground to play South Bank Cricket Club, with the rumours that this club had been going for 126 years and regularly beat the Battersea Badgers running through the inexperienced captain’s head. Continuing what is fast becoming a Plastics tradition, the toss was lost and the Plastics asked to field, which on a pitch that has got a bit of a green tinge and what looked to be a fast outfield, was what the skipper had planned to do, with the use of only one match ball being a factor in his thinking. The bowling before drinks was a bit loose, allowing the opposition to compile a reasonably quick 46 run opening stand, with the opening two overs costing 20 runs before the opener top edged a steepler off the Evil Bishop over the keeper's head and into the sometimes safe hands of Saril at fine leg. This didn’t, however, prompt a tumble of wickets, and the number three and one opener left in were able to play out the remaining overs of Pete’s spell in relative comfort, before taking on Calum to up the run rate a bit more. Matt on for a couple before lunch, but failed to make the breakthrough - or stem the run - rate and South Bank slaked their thirst after twenty overs with the score at 121/1- plenty of wickets in hand for late dash in the final 10. The stand in skipper Matt’s inspirational team talk at drinks “Well fielded lads, the bowling was a bit shit but we can pull it back, I’m keeping myself on for another couple of overs because I’m bowling well and Simon you’re taking the other end” seemed to be the boost that the Plastics needed, however. Simon kept it very tight while bowling his full allocation straight through, and with Matt getting the other opener with a ball off the glove down leg that Peter took smartly to his left, the Plastics were in with a sniff. The fielding took yet another upturn with Alex stopping everything at cover point, and timely field changes stopping a couple of boundaries when the oppositions best batsman hit the ball exactly where the fielder had just been placed- and yet that batsman was in great form and looking to accelerate, when Saril, coming in to bowl from the other end, dropped one a touch short that the batsman pulled fiercely through the now occupied midwicket area, where Matt took a pretty decent one-handed catch high above his head. The starkest contrast between pre and post drinks bowling is in the figures of Saril and Calum; before the break, they went for 0-39 and 0-31 respectively off their first 4, and for their remaining 4 they went for 2-28 and 3-23. The benefits of staying well hydrated have never been more apparent. Alex, not to be outdone, took a great catch at point, diving to his left, again off Saril’s bowling. The debate still rages on about whether he really needed the dive, and whether he could have taken it one-handed or not, but nonetheless, it was another timely wicket and the Plastics had somehow restricted the opposition to 107 runs scored in the final 20 overs, to give a chaseable target of 229 off 40. After lunch, the openers Jon, fresh from Leeds - yet decidedly unfresh after drinking the best part of two bottles of wine the previous evening - and Dom, set about seeing off the new ball bowlers. Despite their contrasting styles, with Jon playing breezily outside off for his 18 off 33 balls and once hitting a cover drive (!) that the opposition’s best batter described as “technically perfect” and Dom, all muscularity and hard hits, they formed a strong opening partnership, Jon eventually falling to the left arm spinner's varying flight and pace with the score on 57. That brought the Good Bishop in, who was just beginning to settle before unluckily falling for 1. Dom was still there, however, and with Alex at the crease, this was the time to start accelerating the run rate with a huge 6 for Dom over long off, and Alex, playing himself in circumspectly with only two 4s and one 6 in his first 10 balls. Once Dom fell for 72 off only 55 balls (how’s that for a Plastics debut?) and having been part of a 75-run stand, there was still quite a bit of work for the Plastics to do; 80 odd runs, 6 wickets remaining and 14 overs in which to reach the target, and with batsmen better known for their ability to absorb pressure than score quickly, it looked doubtful for our erstwhile pink-clad heroes. What the opposition didn’t reckon with, however, was the determination to get a result. They should have known from the efforts in the field that the Plastics wouldn’t roll over, especially once they saw that the Good Bishop, a man better known for folding himself gracefully and slowly into the turf to stop the ball than his lightning quick reactions, had produced an astonishing snap dive to nearly take the best catch of the match - maybe the season - at gully, foiled only by the speed at which the ball came as it unfortunately bounced out of his outstretched hand. All the men on the boundary for Alex couldn’t stop him scoring, as he was ably supported by Anthony, also on debut, as he scored a run a ball fifteen that felt like the beginnings of a substantial innings before it was cruelly curtailed. Enter Peter, who gamely tried to continue upping the rate despite every instinct screaming at him that cricket is a game of patience and a leave at the right time is at least as valuable as a four through the covers. Alas, this was not the right time, and Peter was out for two attempting a cut at a ball he would usually have let whizz past him with an air of unperturbed disdain. A brief, entertaining partnership between Matt and Alex ensued, with Matt demonstrating that he could play at least two more shots than the late cut, with a lovely on drive that garnered only a single, and a clip off his pads through midwicket for four that was more luck than judgement and surely will never be repeated, and to which he contributed only 1/3rd of the 30 runs put on, despite the opposition skipper having 5 men on the boundary for our young gun, who was now on “about 78”. With about 20 runs left, and Evil Bishop coming to the crease, the only words of advice offered were “Don’t get out, and give the strike to Alex”. There had been some frantic adding up on the boundary, and it was determined that if Alex scored all of the remaining runs and finished with a 4, then could end up with his second century in three matches. Your correspondent must admit it looked somewhat unlikely when Alex tried to play a very strange shot, ending up with the batter on his arse and an appeal for shoulder before wicket, but Evil Bishop belied his name, blocked out one end, and Alex went on typical run of 1 6 dot 1 4, to win the Plastics the match, scored 102* and took his average over his last three innings to a mind-boggling 287. It was a wonderful match to be a part of, with multiple swings of momentum, some great batting on both sides, a couple of stunning catches, some tight bowling, a final over finish and a win rate of about 75% for Jon, somehow. It also turned out that South Bank had never beaten the Badgers, and that the source of the rumour had been none other than the captain and chairman himself, in a sneaky demonstration of Machiavellian politics. Railway Taverners CC (135-3, 17.2 overs) beat Plastics CC (130-9, 16.5(?) overs) by 6 wickets. A second, shorter fixture of the season against the Railway Taverners should’ve been the opportunity the Plastics needed to settle old scores. It was not to be as the contest was lost by South London’s favourite pink-clad team, again in the last over, and again ending with only 10 men. The weather on this Wednesday evening was welcomingly cool, especially considering the temperatures the UK had been subjected to in the weeks prior. Arriving in a steady stream from all corners of the capital, the start time of 6pm looked dubious. 30 minutes late, the Taverners and two of the Plastics batsmen who happened to be ready took to the field. The Taverner’s overseas signing, a scary Dutchman, opened the bowling. Robert scored 8 from the first five balls – a lightning start by his standards – only to edge behind on the sixth ball of the over. The opposition were fired up, but the first over had shown that the boundaries were short and the outfield was fast. Batting MVP Alex made a start from the other end, but number three Matt, who had taken all the effort of matching his bandana with the shirt colour scheme, fell for a golden duck, edging behind. Alex and number four Joey provided some stability, taking the team to 45-2 off six overs, constituting a healthy run rate in this shorter-est form of the game. Joey’s departure on lucky number 13 through a stumping precipitated two further wickets: captain Charlie bowled for a solitary run and Jerry bowled by the same Guy for the Plastics’ second Golden Duck of the day (his name was actually Guy). After suddenly and inexplicably reeling on 52-5 off seven overs, a second period of relative stability arrived. Odiham and Greywell CC loan Pete allowed Alex to continue plundering boundaries. Alex soon reached fifty, and the team reached 100. Boundaries came frequently, but the running between the wickets was suspect, with many opportunities not taken (at one point the call of “maybe…not now…it’s too late” was heard). In a bid to rectify this, Pete responded positively – but at worse unquestioningly – to Alex’s call for a second run on a shot hit to cow corner. The short boundaries meant that the ball had soon arrived back in the middle, and too soon for Pete to be home. Run out on unlucky 13 ended a productive partnership. Last-minute first-time ringer Seb fell for the team’s third Golden Duck, bowled, making the score 106-7. He was unable to explain how he let the ball past him, despite having all confidence he’d played down the right line – some say he’s still speechless about it to this very day. Alex fell for 72 in the final throes of the innings, as did Simon for zero. His duck was, much to the chagrin of the departing batsman, brought about by a 79 year old bowler. Regular reads recall that this bowler (‘Barry’ – if that is his real name) had hit the stumps with a delivery in the previous meeting between the teams, only for the bails to stay put. Perhaps this was some sort of cosmic justice. John Papa added two around the same time, but with only ten men, the Plastics’ innings ended their innings on 130-9, with around an over not used. This early ending would come to haunt the team in the second half. A required run rate of 6.55 was not insurmountable, but tight bowling and good fielding could prevent a successful chase. The Taverners made a very good start. Despite Matt’s energetic sprinting in his new wicketkeeping role and Robert’s overthrow-busting dive in the second over, 43 runs were scored off the first four. A wicket was taken by captain Charlie in the second over – Alex taking a good catch at his now regular cover point position – but this did not slow the run rate. Enter John, a ringer who’d proven his worth versus Crossbats in the week prior. The run up wasn’t long and the bowling wasn’t fast, but the line and length were so precise such that the Taverners were only able to add 16 in the next 5 overs. This included not one, but two maidens, the second of which included a wicket. Unfortunately for the Plastics, this brought in one of the Taveners' best batsmen. A partnership of 73 with the remaining opener at over 9 runs per over stamped their authority on the game. Captain Charlie tried in desperation to limit the run-scoring, but with only 10 men there was always one extra gap to fill, and one extra opportunity for the batting team (“put the rubbish in the bin” again being the cry from one of the batsmen). A valiant effort was made in the field, with several solid cricket shapes being displayed – the Taverners had to work to get their runs (but they did, so they got them).
Secret weapon Jerry was brought on to bowl the possibly lucky 13th over to stem the flow and make a breakthrough. However, it was too late, even with Pete from the other end. 18 off 24 turned into 14 off 18 turned into 4 off 12, with wickets continuing to elude the fielding team. The scores were tied as Pete limbered up to bowl the 18th and final over. “I need a maiden” ordered captain Charlie, with an absolutely straight face. What would the Plastics be defending if they had batted the full number of overs? This was suddenly irrelevant as a wicket was taken caught behind by Matt off the first ball. Could it be? No. A four was scored by the incoming batsman off the very next ball. It also transpired that, due to a scoring error, the Taverners had reached the requisite 131 runs for victory in the 17th over. This did not matter. The contest was close and a nice time was had. The sun was beating down in the leafy suburb of Richmond and England were closing in on an inspiring victory over India, could the Plastics show the same level of inspiration. In the shadow of an English heritage site and under a tree hiding from the sun, the Plastics gathered readying themselves for their latest challenge. An artificial pitch awaited, a lush outfield and an opportunity for a big total. A rare moment for the Plastics, a victory at the toss and an even rarer decision for us to bat first was made by the man who called a 50-50 chance right for the first time in what seems an age. 35 overs aside agreed and so the opening partnership of Captain and Keeper began.
Some fortune favoured the opening pair, both being dropped in the slip cordon meant that Plastics were unscathed for the first 7 overs, but going at a run rate that would have made Alistair Cook and Jonathan Trott proud. 7 Overs gone, Plastics were 14-0. Then the pain struck the captain, again chopping on to his stumps - the worst way to get out, yet the Skipper's favourite way it would appear. Skipper scoring a steady 9 from 28 balls. The usually conservative Mr Robert made his way out and my eyes were stunned to see something I thought totally impossible, Mr Robert hitting the ball to the boundary off of his first ball. A couple of balls later, he was flogging the ball to the boundary once again, striking at 200. Usual service resumed fairly swiftly afterwards and after only 10 balls at the crease, Mr Robert went expansive and found his stumps being dislodged. 27-2 in the 11th. So comes the time of the explosive middle order and the King of this order, Alex Webster I. Alex took his time scoring only 4 off of his first 8 balls, a leisurely strike rate of 50. Then came over number 14, 11 off of it and the scoring rate moved on. 48-2 off 14. Over 16 yielded 14 runs, the batsmen taking a liking to the bowler Humphrey. Some good scoring saw us get to drinks without anymore loss of wickets and Plastics went to drinks 81-2, not the run rate expected on an artificial pitch with small boundaries. What could be done? After a couple steady overs, Crossbats looked back to their very economical opener to strangle the runs and take over the game totally, this turned out to be a minor mistake. Very admirable figures of 4-1-5-0, became 5-1-24-0 and momentum moved across to the batsmen. 5 overs after drinks Maithri was caught out for a steady 25, but the score was now 133-3 off of 25 overs. A powerful 52 runs in 5 overs for the loss of one wicket, Plastics started to look scarily like a team that could bat quickly. A special note to a great partnership of 102 for the third wicket. 10 Overs remained, any ODI fans out there know, 10 overs remain, 7 wickets in hand, surely another 100 runs can be added to the total… John, playing in his first full game for the Plastics came and went in style, that style being trying to hit every ball out of the ground, 4 off 6 balls. Whilst Alex was notching up a Plastics maiden century then retiring, via a handy drop on 99, emulating a certain scenario against Octopus CC, Jamie steadily made his way to 1 and out. The cameos began with a 7 from 4 balls for the Evil Twin showing how much he wished to outdo Mr Robert. Then the Plastics overseas player walks to the crease, living up to his credentials of all-or-nothing. New batsmen and a new bowler, let battle commence. This battle however only lasted 5 balls, 18 runs and a wicket, including a rather lusty blow for 6 over the only place Joey knows where to hit the ball - mooooo. With the overseas player gone, our very own Eton alumni walks to the crease hoping to emulate Joey and he really did his best, three beautiful fours then a caught and bowled led to the true tail of Plastics in Webb and Freeman, a dynamic 10 and 11. However Matt failed, Alex then insisting on coming back to the crease to try and finish the innings off. A couple of big blows and attempts at some crazy shots got 12 from the final over. Plastics posted 219, their highest score and Alex finished with a scratchy but all together effective 113. Now how would Plastics go about defending this?? A good first over from Matt Webb meant that a maiden was achieved for the bowler, a sneaky bye had been taken, then the first wicket went down. Freeman luring the batsman into a false sense of security with a long hop, followed by a wide, then the next long hope found the fielder, all within the plan. Then the plan went wrong, all the bowlers struggled to find the right length to bowl on a very bouncy pitch, the ball sat up a lot and the batsman made great use of this. Freeman and Jamieson going at around 6 runs an over for their first 4 or 5 overs. Jamie proving expensive in his two, a very rare scenario. Crossbats raced to 78 off 11 overs, Plastics were struggling. It was only through the tight bowling of Joey, getting a good amount of turn and bounce on this track and the self-proclaimed ‘most efficient’ bowler of the team, Evil Twin - a claim that the Evil one would regret in the following days after the game. The opening bat brought up his 50 and then decided to hit a long hop straight down the throat of Alex at midwicket, the 2nd wicket partnership worth 116, costly. Drinks were then taken and Plastics started to go on the attack. Getting the incoming batsman out in short time, the Plastics could get themselves back into the game here - unfortunately due to some miscounting Joey was brought off without a full spell being bowled, but with two wickets to his name. The Evil Twin came back to remove the number three for a very in-control 64. A good throw led to a run out and the opposition on 171 – 5, Plastics could defend this. Some tight overs from John, in his first game, only conceding 8 from 2 overs, meant the screw was tightened. Unfortunately, a wayward over from Mr Webb and Jerry meant the opposition had got their way to 206, even the attempts of Maithri coming from behind the stumps to bowl and the ‘most economical bowler of the team’ could not stop the runs being scored. Overall, a big congratulations to Alex for scoring Plastics first century, even if it took a bit of luck. A lot of lessons learnt and I understand solid drinks after the game. |
THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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