After their storming start to the season, two wins from two, eager pundits were describing the Plastics as “The Real Madrid of south London’s weak-weak cricket scene”. Unfortunately with a couple of losses, these accolades have been withdrawn, for now at least. Nevertheless they approached the next game with optimism. With the Holtwhites Trinibis fielding a polarised team, half experienced old hands, half energetic youth, this appeared to be a difficult side to contain. Matthew Webb, making his captaincy debut, won / negotiated the toss, and the Plastics got their fielding boots on.
Captain Webb announced that “The Terror of Pimlico” would be opening the bowling. After a confused silence, Matt explained that he meant Jerry, who promptly obliged, sending down some testing pacy deliveries, aided by a delightfully sloping wicket. Simon, who had fought hard to get his preferred end (uphill into the wind) shared new ball duties with Jerry. It was Jerry who made the first breakthrough, a bouncing delivery taking the glove of the opener, with Peter taking a nice catch down the leg side. He nearly had a second, narrowly missing what would have been an excellent caught and bowled. The first change brought captain Webb and the Evil (Pete) Bishop into the attack. Wickets were hard to come by, the Trinibis middle order playing attritional cricket with Webb and Bishop sending down an incredibly tight middle spell of 10 overs for about as many runs. Eventually Matt knocked back the other openers’ middle stump and Jevs soon joined the wickets, clean bowling a batsman who was just getting settled, instilling a sense of optimism among the Plastics. Holtwhites then put together a solid middle order partnership, but just when the runs were starting to flow, and a half-century had been brought up Jerry returned to the attack, clean bowling both batsmen. Another couple quickly followed and suddenly the Terror of Pimlico had a flippin’ five-fer! An excellent spell of bowling fully deserving of the prestigious title of First Plastics 5-for and sole place on the newly erected Plastics Honours Board (found in the clubhouse/public toilets at Archbishop’s Park). Joey came on to bowl a spell of beguiling leg spin, googlies and wrong ‘uns leaving the batsmen red-faced. A deserved wicket came thanks to the best catch of the season so far, a spectacular diving effort from Joey’s work buddy Elliot, certainly the talk of coffee breaks for weeks to come. Once the younger members of the Trinibis had come to the crease, Matt decided that who better to bowl at kids barely 5 foot tall than the Plastics’ specialist short pitch, aggressive bowler and duly brought himself on, much to the dismay of the youngsters. However, Matt surprised everyone by unveiling a brand new side to his game, pitching it up outside off, much to the relief of the players and onlookers. Holtwhites closed on 180 – 8, a challenging total, which would require a Plastics record run chase. However, with Mexico beating Germany in the World Cup, the Plastics decided anything was possible. Whereas Experience had opened the batting for the Trinibis, it was Youth that opened the bowling, with one young opener bowling with pace down the slope and an even younger opener bowling some tricky deliveries up the slope. After straying in his line for a few balls, the young bowlers’ head started to drop and Leo later admitted that at that point he found himself wondering whether it’s ok for a grown man to hit an 11 year old to the boundary when he’s already having a hard time of it. Fortunately Leo didn’t have to wonder much longer as the 11 year old in question soon produced a delivery far too good for him and sent him on his way before the scorers had figured out how to work the fancy electronic score box. Mike Winter Joined Peter at the crease and after some watching and waiting, Mike decided it was time to hit out, with successive slog sweeps through mid-wicket giving the Plastics some much needed impetus. Sadly Mike and Peter fell in quick succession to the nippy opener, bringing Mr Robert and debutant Elliot to the crease. Both batsmen played themselves in, but just as he was looking comfortable, Elliot was trapped in front. Next up was Jevs, who put on a very handy partnership with Mr Robert, making good use of the quick, sloping outfield to find the boundaries and put on 48 for the 5th wicket. At the height of the run scoring, Mr Robert HIT A WONDERFUL STRAIGHT SIX RIGHT BACK OVER THE BOWLER'S HEAD. The crowd went wild and there was much celebration of this feat, an inspiration to cautious, slenderly built batsmen, who quietly whispered to one another “Can we hit sixes now, is this a thing?” After falling agonisingly close to a maiden half-century, Mr R trudged back to the pavilion. The one positive from this was that with the Plastics' big-hitting lower order to come, surely this meant the total would be knocked off quickly and we’d soon be at the bar, right? One of the two predictions turned out to be true. From the comfort of the bar, the Plastics could only wonder what could have been. What if Matt knew when to call a run? What if Jerry had batted as well as he bowled? Sadly it was not to be, but fun was had by all and with career and team milestones reached, the trip up to far north of London was a worthwhile one. This felt like a game that could have gone either way and with a fixture arranged for next year, we’ll look forward to having another shot. It’s safe to say that by then the youngsters from this game will be far too good for us, but no doubt a new generation will step up to fill the gap and, on the advice of their older brothers, will probably bowl it on the stumps to Joey.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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