Stanmore Warriors 11/06/17Arriving at probably the best cricket ground that mere mortals like us could possibly hope to play at, The Plastics were in high spirits, fresh from their promising T20 competition. Still riding the wave of the glorious feeling of that first win and looking forward to the prospect of basking in the sunshine. We were drunk on it, and we wanted more.
We therefore tried to have the following match stricken from the records, but it turns out we must count an inglorious defeat too. Due to an administrative error, it soon became apparent that we were by no means the equals of the team opposing us. The rumours soon circulated; 80mph bowling, former Ranji trophy player and trying to get an County contract. It was men vs boys. Charlie FWAT (finally won a toss), and rashly chose to bat first. We can only assume the surprise of FWATting made him giddy. Peter and Waqas opened the batting, Winter having requested a move down the order due to some disappointing batting in his last run out. They started slow and steady, 6 dot balls, the Warriors in control. The second over started the same way, Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot. Oh god this is going to be a long day. WAIT! Runs! And not only runs, but a boundary. Waqas sends the balling flying to the boundary. Hope? Maybe. Next ball was, obviously, another dot. That first 4 was the fire they needed, 11 off the next over with 2 more boundaries. Perhaps they aren’t that much better than us? Peter chasing the odd single and going after the wider balls. Waqas only interested in the boundary. One more from the next over, then 4 then 0. 20 without loss after the 6th over; not blistering but a steady, calm start. Disaster strikes after 2 no balls. Peter was gone, clean bowled. Never easy to open, especially against pace. Waqas with another glided boundary, still looking dangerous. A quick single leaves Waqas on strike for the next over. 4 from the first ball of the over, could he steady the ship and build a high score? No, we spoke too soon, caught from the next ball up high towards the third man. 21 from 26 balls. For a Plastic they would be good figures, but he left the crease disappointed. The fall. The man of rumour, a fast bowler who was clearly too good for us, restricted the runs further, the odd wide here and there but Gav and Mr Robert both fell for a single run each, clean bowled. Alex and Winter were soon partnering again. Winter facing the fast bowler, didn’t even see the first ball, everyone thought he would be back to the pavilion soon, including him. 4 byes and a dot. Winter survived. Alex now facing a slow spinner, was gone for 0; a slow straight ball, through it too early. He was gone, visibly angry. Bradbury joined Winter at the crease. Out of nowhere Winter gets a boundary, a nervous edge past the 4 slips, more dot balls followed for both Bradbury and Winter. Then, runs. Should have been four but the fielder didn’t signal for it and the umpire missed it; a bit unsporting, perhaps, given the perilous condition in which our erstwhile batsmen found themselves. Was this a turning point? No. Seriously we suffer from the worst commentators curse imaginable. Facing a very slow spinner Bradbury starts with a couple of Dots, then a single. Bowling was slow but accurate. Winter now facing, Dot, nice defensive shot. Final ball of the over, Winter swings and he top edged it high for the simplest catch. Gone for 6 but furious with himself for such a rash shot. Webb was next up,facing another pacer. First ball pitched up outside off, left. Second ball pitched up a bit straighter and it’s nicked to first slip. Webb curiously pleased with what he called a proper dismissal, despite his abject failure. Enter Joey. 2 from the over and back to the slow spinner. Charlie was soon gone; another easy catch, patted a harmless ball straight back to the bowler. 45-8 Ed came in, probably a couple of places lower down than he should have been, hit from 9 before being bowled. Joey got another single to creep the score up. Enter Jackson. In the first game he was difficult to remove. Defensive shots everywhere, can he stay in long enough for Joey to build a late score? No. Duck. 50 all out. Tea was still at least an hour from being ready, so it was decided that we’d have drinks and then the Warriors would begin their chase. There’s not too much to write about Stanmore Warriors innings; they cruised to the target with 28 overs to spare without loss, assisted by some generous fielding off Webb’s bowling. After the inevitable, crushing, brutal defeat, there was a beautiful spread of hot Indian food and apologies all round for Stanmore’s captain not realising we were a “weak-weak” team.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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