Another Sunday rolls around, another trip out to the middle of nowhere (in this case, the Borough of Croydon) to pursue our dreams of cricketing glory.
Our opponents this time: Cumnor Challengers, a team we had only encountered on the opposite side of the draw in Roehampton Bats' inaugural T20 competition. After an initial bit of panic, this time before the match (rather than while batting) in making sure that everyone was going to arrive, the Plastics had all turned up looking resplendent in their shocking pink hats. Skipper Charlie reverted to form after the aberration against Stanmore and lost the toss. Inserted in to field, The Plastics optimism at learning CCCC had not won match yet this season tempered only slightly by the knowledge that they had only won one themselves, opened with Jackson. An over in which he displayed his wily variations followed, with a couple of double bouncers, a yorker, then a cutter that I'm almost certain was deliberate and only four runs conceded. Matt in, opening the bowling as he had always been too modest to ask for but always secretly wanted to do, the only runs off his over coming off a massive top edge over the slips and down to boundary at the vacant third man region. Second over for Jackson, and he's gottim! Another double bouncer that stays even lower and he pins the batsman in front for 2. Niall's pink-sweatband-clad arms go up in celebration and Cumnor are 10-1. Next over for Matt, and he's in off a long run up, feeling that the batsmen can be intimidated. A leg side wide first up, followed by a peach of a delivery that hits the middle of middle and it's two down for not very many. The new batsman swung and missed at a couple before Matt bowled a full toss that sent the off stump cartwheeling to his own disgust, filth like that doesn't deserve a wicket. Fortunately the square leg umpire called it a no ball on height, the batsman was reprieved and Matt would be able to look at himself in the mirror that night. A couple more uneventful overs followed with Cumnor's number three, Lux, taking the fight back to the opening bowlers with a couple of quick boundaries, and an edge down to third man that Mike and Matt hared after before Mike scooped it backhanded to Matt from the boundary and Matt nailed it into the keeper, both walking back to their positions striving and failing to maintain an air of nonchalance about the whole thing. Next The Plastics tearaway Aussie quick, Joey, came on to strike fear into the batsman's hearts. Alas, if there was any justice in the world he would have finished with a Michelle rather than the one wicket he got. A couple of edges, a couple of tight LBW calls, and couple of misfields could all have gone his way and we'd be comparing his performance to Ryan Harris in his creaky prime. The overs tick away, Saril bowling a nice line and length except one wide outside off and one down leg; not to worry, on average he's bowled him there. Joey still failing to reap the rewards his bowling deserved, with Cumnor's number three still cutting and chopping powerfully between forward point and third man. New bowler, Maithri coming in after a long absence with a knee injury and first ball is perfect: full and on off, but he's holding his knee and looking concerned. After a pause, he decides to heroically continue with his over, but reverting to offspin. Two fantastic balls later, both gripping and spitting and he's on a hat trick, men crowded around the bat as the number 6 wipes the sweat from his brow, knowing that if he can't keep this one out that he'll go down in the annals of Plastics history. Defended, and the relief is palpable. One more over and Maithri's got the Plastics into the lower order, and left them with a chance of bowling them all out, all on one leg. Wickets tumble at the other end, including four very solid overs from JEVS on debut, a wicket for him and another gone begging as Niall folds himself all the way around a catch, managing to touch it with every part of his body before it goes to ground and still Lux bats on, watching the carnage bemusedly and offering tips to his partners in between overs. Niall begins his second spell; a blur of pink, whirling arms and corkscrew hair as two balls fly over the batsman's head- beamer, beamer, double bouncer, yorker, good length and his variations have the lower order in all sorts of trouble again. Charlie brings himself on to try and get the set batsman out, scenting victory if he can, but his usual vicious outswing eludes him and Lux and Minesh face out the last few overs; the former clobbering a couple of decent balls for consecutive fours and the latter solidly defending. At tea, Lux is on a superb undefeated 80 and the Plastics are chasing a run a ball over the next 30 overs. Out stroll Peter and Mark, the latter put in to get quick runs at the top of the order while Peter does his customary taking the shine off the ball. Maiden over to Peter, plenty of time to get the runs, no need to hurry himself just yet. Mark takes a couple of balls to get in before taking a single to keep the strike and lofting a straight drive down the ground for four. He races to 13 off 13 before getting a somewhat dubious LBW shout off an inswinging delivery while standing a yard outside his crease. Peter sticks around some more, upping the rate as Ed plays himself in, wristily turning a four down to fine leg and taking a few twos in the meantime. Ed defends solidly before taking a couple of swings, with the ball flying through to the keeper. Undeterred, Ed strides out of his crease next ball and absolutely leathers it over the boundary, over the fence, to be lost forever. With Peter out LBW, Charlie comes to the crease and has a good look at the bowlers, happy to let Ed set the tone for a while., remaining scoreless in a partnership of 16. Once Ed went, to a good catch at long on, and Maithri was out just as he was getting his touch, Charlie started asserting himself with boundary after boundary while Mike and JEVS, slightly nervous in his first innings for this fine club, defended at the other end. Unfortunately they weren't able to add much to the score between them, but that was fine as Charlie was still gunning for the target, losing another ball over the fence over long on, before getting out chopping on. With Joey and Matt at the crease, the approach to quick singles became what could be called "risky" at best and "suicidally insane" at worst, with the ball pinging to all parts of the pitch, including a couple of steeplers that the fielders were unlucky not to take. Another big six off Joey over midwicket, and a couple of powerful pulls over the square leg boundary from Matt, the pair made the fielders earn their crust before Joey rode his luck one time too many and was caught at mid off. With only Niall left to come, Saril knew that the run-rate was creeping up and took decisive action. Six first ball, pulled beautifully over square leg into the car park! Next ball he was bowled, for a strike rate of 300. Niall, the Wimbledon Wall, gets a golden and Matt is left stranded on 14 off 13 and the Plastics go down by 36 runs.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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