Crouch End 325 - 5 (Kaskana 124*) beat Plastics 185 all out (Bradbury 55) by 140 runs
Jerry’s dad’s private jet flew me back from Thailand especially for this important fixture vs Crouch End. I’d used this flight time to get myself pumped, I watched Mean Girls on loop and then repeatedly just quietly said the word cricket, interspersed occasionally with dog. I could tell when I turned up to the ground, the other players had spent their journey to the ground doing the exact same. The Plastics, for the first time since membership was introduced in 2017, had a team full only of members. Perhaps this was why the match result was a heavy Plastics defeat. King Kaptain KCharlie (hereafter KKK) won the toss and elected to bowl first. The first 10 overs flew by, with just 45 runs conceded - Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jamieson (JJJJJ) and Simon bowling tightly for most of that. No wickets were taken though, largely due to a lack of chances created and a dropped catch by Peter - continuing JJJJJ’s wicketless run. The next 10 overs went for 88 runs, Webb, Doy and KKK were the unfortunate bowlers in this period. Both Crouch End openers were settled and utilising the short offside boundary (which was, unsurprisingly, the leg side when we bowled from the other end). At 133-0 drinks were taken, it seemed watching Mean Girls hadn’t worked in the desired fashion. Maithri and JEVS came on to bowl after drinks. I had a good feeling JEVS was going to get a wicket off a leg side heave, but my feelings were wrong. It reminded me of when I had a feeling that Christmas 2017 was going to be great, but shortly before it my Grandma died. Anyway, Maithri’s second over got him a wicket. It was a peach of a delivery which clipped the top of off stump, removing the opener for an accomplished innings of 45. At the other end, Kaskana pushed himself past a century before retiring on 124 - a chanceless innings of a player worthy of medium-medium status. Webb and JJJJJ returned to the attack, despite both having ailments. Webb could only run 10 yards before trying to cough his lungs up, while JJJJJ had a hurty foot. Despite Webb’s cough, which he reliably informed me didn’t stop him performing in the bedroom the night before, he took 3 quick wickets. These were all off of slower balls, two were bowled and one was caught. Webb couldn’t have been happier to have bowled Alom, whose audacious scoop first ball for 4 made Webb even angrier than the time I called him Spiderman. Jamie and Simon came back on for the last 4 overs of the innings. Simon successfully ran out Sandler. The decision of Sandler to call a run was certainly questionable, Simon had essentially got the ball in his hands 3 yards from the stumps when the run was called for. In this incident Simon got injured, no surprise there. The 40 over innings was finally over at 325 - 5, a difficult chase would follow. Lunch was good n that. Curry? Yes please. Pancake Greasey Bhaji thing? Yeah, looks good! Sandwich on Tiger bread? Don’t mind if I do. Fried Chilli in Batter? Never again. Maithri and KKK went out to open our innings. Maithri quickly returned, getting bowled round his legs by a 14-year-old for 0. Robert and Charlie, however, recovered the situation very nicely - batting at a decent pace and taking the score to 89-1 off 14 overs. To put this in context, Crouch End were 82-0 after their 14 overs. The chase was on. Unfortunately, Plastics are Plastics. Robert got out for 29 trying to play one too many shots over the top of the infield in attempt to push the tempo. His innings was impressive and was in no sense restricted by the irritating acne spot in his armpit. KKK was bowled soon after by the same bowler. During KKK’s record breaking innings of 55, he played some exquisite drives, pulls and one cheeky Chinese cut. A top innings from the fella. He also got a deserved hug from Robert, who sprinted over from the non-striker's end to celebrate when KKK had reached his 50. A lovely moment. Mark and I were now at the crease. Mark took spin bowler Tanner for 23 runs off one over hammering the ball all over. I was more cautious, riddled with self-doubt following my reduced belief in my lucky pink dowel. I was bowled for 5 having missed a ball which was hitting the stumps. As Mark continued his attacking innings, he was joined briefly by JEVS who was given LBW (in his view, wrongfully) for 2 before Matt got a golden duck and the score moved to 137-6. In the next over Mark was caught where he is always caught (at mid off) and the collapse was complete, the score was 138-7. The plastics had been 90-1. Jerry played an exciting innings of 36, his highest for the club, which included his unpatented scoop and a massive straight six. This six was his first ever, and rightfully got a celebration as it smacked into the sightscreen. Peter played stoically for a 20ish-ball 1. His innings was typically unexciting. Jamie got a little go with the bat too, but Simon’s bad back meant plastics were all out when the 9th wicket went down. A score of 185 was achieved, unfortunately that was nowhere near enough. The drinks after the game were good. I left the Plastics in the club house and met up with my housemates in our local Wetherspoons. I had a nice burger and plenty to drink (despite the pump on all the draught beers not working). This is when I agreed to do the match report. Sober me wasn’t so happy.
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THE TEAMFormed from a collection of players who met on the internet via social cricket at Archbishop's Park, Plastics XI represents the foolhardy members of that group who decided they wanted a bash at proper cricket instead of playing with plastic balls. The team's ability is best described as "weak-weak". Luckily, our social media game is much stronger. Find us on: Archives
October 2021
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